Dinner Party Guest Etiquette: How to Get Invited Back

25 Dinner Party Guest Etiquette Tips Everyone Should Know

Dinner Party Guest Etiquette

Being in my thirties has completely flipped my social life on its head. Nights of clubbing and bar-hopping are few and far-between; and now I find myself most looking forward to intimate gatherings and dinner parties.

But, with a change of scenery comes a whole new set of unwritten rules. From what time to arrive to which way to pass a dish, it can feel like a minefield of potential social missteps. And even though no one’s handing out report cards, I still find myself wanting to be that A+ guest— the kind everyone wants to invite back.

Let’s talk about what it really means to be an amazing dinner guest and how to secure your spot as a regular.

Dinner Party Etiquette: Before the Party

Invite secured! Proper dinner party etiquette begins before you even get anywhere close to a dining table. Here are some basic etiquette rules that will lay the groundwork:

1. RSVP

Being a great dinner guest starts the moment your invitation hits your inbox. Even small gatherings require a lot of planning. Responding at the last minute can cause unnecessary stress on your host. RSVP’ing promptly also shows that you’re excited to attend the dinner party, which your host will appreciate.

2. Ask the host if there’s anything you can bring

It’s simply good manners make the offer, even though chances are your host will say no.

3. Find a host(ess) gift

Whether or not you’re asked to bring anything to the dinner party, showing up with a host gift is a thoughtful way to show good intentions and respect for the host’s efforts. Something simple is best – eg.) a bottle of wine, a bouquet of flowers, or a small dessert.

4. Dietary restrictions

If you have dietary restrictions or food allergies, let your host know ahead of time so they can plan accordingly.

5. Ask the dress code

Casual dinner parties are usually a come-as-you-are type of event. A formal dinner party, on the other hand, may have a more strict dress code. With that in mind, its important to know which kind of event you’re attending. When in doubt, ask the host.

Dinner Party Etiquette: During the Party

This is the meat and potatoes, so-to-speak, of the evening (see what I did there?). Here’s how to be a gracious guest at the dinner table:

6. Arrive on time

But not too early! Showing up way before the start time you were given can catch your host off guard. Showing up more than 15 minutes late without warning can be seen as rude and delay dinner for everyone else.

7. Do not bring an uninvited guest

Your invite will specify if the invitation is for you, a plus-one, and/or your family. If you’re unsure, it’s okay to double check with the host. But, never bring additional guests unless you’re certain!

8. Compliment the chef

Let the chef know that you appreciate and are enjoying the meal! If it isn’t to your taste, compliment the presentation, effort, etc.

9. Offer host assistance

If you see the host setting up, clearing dishes, or pouring drinks, offer to help out it whatever way you feel comfortable. But, don’t feel required to co-host the whole event.

10. Stay off of your phone

Social events can feel awkward, but try not to lean on your phone for emotional support. Instead, be present in conversation and only check your phone every few hours. If you need to take an important phone call, step away from the table first.

11. Wait for everyone to be served before eating

Before digging in, do a quick glance around the table to make sure everyone’s meal has been served. If not, wait for the last dish to be placed before starting the main course. If the meal is being served family-style, remember to pass dishes to the right.

Note: If there is more than 1 table, you only need to wait for the rest of your table to be served before dining.

12. Drink in moderation

The only thing worse than a hangover is the hangxiety that comes with remembering that thing you accidentally word-vomited to a near stranger after having one glass of wine too many. Drink and have a good time, if that’s your prerogative, but know your limits.

13. Greet everyone

A good guest is a friendly guest. Say hello to everyone and make an effort to introduce yourself to those you don’t know. At a large party, simply greet everyone at your table or in your general vicinity – don’t feel obligated to spend the whole night as the hired greeter.

14. Learn names of other guests

Refer to other guests by name when you can. It feels good when someone remembers your name and others will warm up to you more quickly.

15. Participate in activities and discussions

Parties are meant to be enjoyed! Be a good listener, actively engage with the group, and contribute when you can. If you’re an introvert, like me, it helps to have a few conversation starters prepped ahead of time and stored in the back of your noggin to pull out when needed.

Check out this post for 110 conversation starters to keep on hand as your secret weapon.

16. Keep Conversation Light

There can be a few exceptions to this rule, like if you’re with a group of close friends whom you know really well, but for the most part, avoid polarizing topics like politics and religion in mixed crowds.

17. Don’t interrupt

I am SO guilty of butting in when I get excited, but it’s important to let everyone have a chance to be and feel heard.

18. Be Hygienic

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but do not put your grubby paws into the communal dishes! *phew* OK maybe there’s something here I need to unpack, but on a serious note – keep it clean and never double dip.

19. Honor Personal Space

Be mindful of where you’re putting your personal items so they’re not encroaching on someone else’s space and keep a reasonable distance between yourself and the next guest.

20. Don’t Complain

Seriously, don’t be that person. Keep critiques to yourself and don’t bring unnecessary negativity to the dinner table. If you have a major problem that simply cannot wait, discuss it discreetly with the necessary parties only.

Dinner Party Etiquette: After the party

Good manners don’t end when dinner is over. Follow these tips to see it through ’til the end.

21. Offer to help clean up

Now, don’t go rolling up your sleeves and diving headfirst into a sink full of dishes. But do offer to tidy up, clear plates, or put furniture back where it belongs, if needed. This is a simple rule to follow and a great way to thank your gracious host.

22. Leave on time

Don’t make it awkward for your host. If there is no set end time, read the room and know when it’s time to grab your things and go.

23. Say Goodbye to Everyone

As tempting as it is to make an Irish exit, the polite thing to do is to say your goodbyes to everyone in attendance. This can be as simple as an announcement to everyone in the group of, “Hey Everyone, I’m heading out!”

24. Thank the host before leaving

Let the host know before you go what a great time you had and that you can’t wait to do it again soon!

25. Send a follow-up thank you text

The final step to securing your title as Best Dinner Guest is to send a follow-up text the next day. Thank the host again for inviting you and let them know you had a lovely time.

Bonus points: Offer to host the next dinner party!

Dinner Party Guest Etiquette: Final Thoughts

Good dinner guest etiquette is not just to make a good impression on your hosts, but also to help you feel confident in your social skills and relax into knowing you know exactly what to do. Gone are the days of shouting over blaring music; now, it’s about listening intently to stories shared across the dining table and making the most of good food with good company. So, here’s to embracing this chapter of life with open arms, armed with the knowledge that being a gracious dinner party guest is a gift we give to both ourselves and our hosts. 🌟🍷🥂

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